What's this...

So WOW. What the hell is this? A blog? I was supposed to write in it daily? Hahaha!

I failed.

Well, I was busy. Mainly with school but also with Bruce's graduation! YAY!!! He's going to graduate on Nov. 24th! I will be going to his graduation with his mom... we've already booked our flight, hotel, and car rental. YAY!!!!! Oh my goodness. No words or smileys can show the excitement that I feel at the thought of seeing him again. These past 60 days have been so tough... He's my closest friend. Not being able to talk to him regularly or  see him is so terrible. I have never missed anyone like this before. I can't wait for the 2 days that I will be with him. They will be amazing. I love him so much and I can't wait until I feel him hug and kiss me.

13 days to go... I can't wait. I've waited so long.

GOD. I can't imagine how I'll be when he's deployed. *sigh* But lets not think of that until the time comes... just gotta think of days that are coming up :)

Smile...

... you're on camera! :D NO.

So, my boss/Bruce's mom left on a vacation on Friday with her husband. Since she's gone she left me in charge of the tutoring clinic and asked me to feed her dogs. So, I fed them on Saturday and today. When I went today, I noticed a few things. Cameras. Video cameras. There's one pointing out to the driveway, one in the side hallway area, and one in the house peeping out the window. Now, they've gone on vacations before leaving me and Bruce in charge of feeding the dogs and watering the plants... and I don't EVER remember seeing cameras. Now that Bruce isn't around its just me. I do know that they are very paranoid about security and stuff... but really? Have cameras watching me?! I feel a little offended. What do you think I'm going to do? Kick your dogs or search your yard? I've been with your son for almost 3 years and you don't trust me to go into your yard and feed your dogs?!?!! UGH. I feel sooooo I don't know. Kinda feel like a dork... I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing on Saturday. I did take my friend along with me. I hope they don't get mad about that. AHHH! I just don't know what to say. I'm kinda mad. Is that okay for me to be mad? Would you be mad?

Weight Loss:
Weight loss? What weight loss?... SCREW YOU!




haha! :P

idk...

Life:
Nothing is really going on. I'm stressed coz Bruce isn't getting my letters. Every letter I write feels useless... but I won't stop in case that just so happens to be the one that makes it to him. *sigh* Work should be fun. My boss/Bruce's mother is going on a 5 day vacation... and since she appointed me Asst. Director 4 months ago, I will have to take the reigns of the tutoring center on Friday, Monday, and Tuesday. That should be FUN. ugh. I'm soooo not looking forward to doing that. I'm always afraid of screwing up. I'll be sure to post how that goes... AHHH! It will be madness at the tutoring center!

Weight Loss:
I didn't go to the gym... instead I went to my weekly belly dance class. Oh yeah! Its so fun. We're actually learning a routine that we're going to perform at a recital in December! Only thing I'm worried about is showing off my chubb to everyone in the audience. That WON'T be pleasant. Hahaha! Belly dancing is a great workout. It always works my arms, legs, definitely my abs, and it give me cardio. YAY! I'm still eating well. But my food logging shows that I'm not getting enough protein. Hmm. Also, some days I'm a 'lil over my calories and sometimes I'm a 'lil under. UGH! Most importantly, I needs me some more protein.

Snail Mail...

Life (Yay! I'm going to put Life first now! :D):
I got two letters from Bruce today... YAY! He was mad at me... BOO! So here's what's going on. My poor baby thinks that I'm not writing letters to him. Truth is, I've sent about 10-15 letters and he's only gotten 2-3. What really made him mad was that he's received all of his mother's letters. So it looks like she writes all the fuckin' time and I write once a week. WTF?! Why are mine taking so damn long. Apparently the post office at the base is really busy and slow. Well they better hurry the fuck up coz they're making me look bad and they're making Bruce sad. GAH! I hate snail mail.

Weight Loss (Yay! I'm putting weight loss second coz its not that exciting! :D):

I ate pretty decently today. Nothing too bad except that my lunch consisted of 2 apple pies from McDonald's. Yes that's bad but I at least stuck to my "eating out as a vegetarian" rule. I could've TOTALLY gone for some nuggets or something. I went to the gym. Alone. I usually go with a friend, but today she wanted to work out at home. When she bails on me, I usually don't go to the gym. But I made myself go this time. I'm glad I did. I had a great workout. Also, I'm going to try to stretch every morning... coz I am soooo not as flexible as I should be.

Success...

Weight Loss:
Ah, my fresh-start-Monday :) I didn't eat fast food. I only ate what my grandma made. The only bad thing is that I didn't have breakfast and I probably should. I also made a rule: If I do eat out, I will eat like a vegetarian (I used to be a vegetarian for almost 3 years. That was the healthiest I ever ate and I would love to go back to that). Anyways, I made it to the gym... I did 10 mins on the Stair Master and 20 mins on the treadmill. Then I did some weight machines for my arms and 100 sit-ups. Oh man, I'm tired and my abs are going to be screaming at me tomorrow. Scheisse.

Life:
I want to dye my hair purple. No, I'm not going to bleach it and have a bright purple... I just want to put it over my natural hair color. Coz my hair is dark it shouldn't be too noticeable. The only thing stopping me from doing this is work. I need to ask my boss if it would be okay. Plus, it'll only be temporary (about 2 weeks or so). So, I'm a tutor. Most of my time is sit at my desk with a student hidden away from the parents. On Saturdays, I'm the Assistant Director and I'm in charge. So, that's when I'm sitting at the front desk dealing with parents. That's the reason why I don't think I'll be able to do it. AYYE! But I want to!! I'm also very nervous to ask my boss... coz not only is she my boss, she is Bruce's mother. *sigh* I don't want her to laugh at me for wanting to dye my hair purple. Anyways, I gotta man up and just fuckin' ask her.

Hmm, maybe I should do blue? red (coz that'll look semi-normal)? pink? What do you think?

Fail...

Weight Loss:

So, yeah. That weight loss... riiiiight. So I totally failed this past Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. First off, I had Taco Bell on Thursday. On Friday, I had chicken nuggets from McDonalds. Also on Friday, my friends and I get together and have a game night. Well we always have tons of snacks and drinks. The alcohol and the mixers added soooo many calories to my diet. On Saturday, I had a donut for breakfast and Mac n’ Cheese for lunch/dinner. So, I’m tired of all this crap and I’m really gonna start taking it seriously starting tomorrow. No more eating out and start going to the gym every day. I’m trying to lose weight for myself and for my future soldier. I gotta do this. No more failing.

Life:

I finally cleaned my room. You can actually see the floor. WTF?! I had carpet? Haha! Anyways, I gotta clean out my room coz my mom wants to move my grandma into my room. UGH. She wants to rent out the room that my sister left when she got married. I guess it’s a good idea. I’m just not looking forward to sleeping in the same room with my grandma that snores like a fuckin’ bear. Yeah. As for Bruce, I haven’t received another letter since last Wednesday. So I’m hoping to get one this week. I’ve been writing to him everyday, just like he wants me to. It’s actually kinda hard to write everyday. Even if it’s short I send it anyways. Plus, I always add a drawing or a comic or something. My last letter had this drawing I made of the two of us :]

Let me explain. He calls me Brownie and I call him Cracker. Haha! So I draw lil comics/pictures of us sometimes. This time I drew a picture of what I’ll do when I finally see him. Hehehe! Actually it’ll probably be the other way around… ending with me having a couple broken ribs. Hahaha! :D

Weight Loss...

So, I just joined this free nutrition and work out site called SparkPeople... Has anyone heard of that? Did it work or help? Anyways, if you haven't heard of it, its basically a site where you can log in and keep track of your meals, workouts, and weight loss and stuff. I like the nutrition plan, it gives me suggestions on what to eat everyday for every meal. Also, you can add the foods that you eat and it automatically adds the calories, fat, carbs, and what not. I used to write it down everyday when I was taking the Alli pill, but that got boring and tedious quickly. Anyways, one of my daily goals it keep a journal, drink 8 cups of water, and stretch for 10 minutes. So, I'm going to use this blog-thingy to keep as a journal. I guess write down anything about my diet I guess. You know, like, I really don't feel like going to the gym today or I was tempted to get a bag of chips but instead I got pretzels (which is actually true, that happened today) or I ate my first vegetable today (haha, I've eaten vegetables :P). Anyways, you get the point.

I'll also keep writing about my life and such. Even though its not exciting. But it'll be nice to put my thoughts down somewhere where no one I know will read it... I mean come on, I doubt I'll ever get a following. Who's going to read the blog of an overweight girl trying to lose weight even though she spends most of her time online coz she's bored without her bf that's in the army? Yep. That's my life.

Speaking of Bruce, he's doing well. I got a letter today. It was full of letters from days ago. He's been running low on stamps so he saved them up and put them all in one. Anyways, he's telling me that he's learning all these life saving techniques. He's also already training with his weapon. He's really tired and his feet hurt and sucky stuff like that. But overall he's seems pretty happy with all the things he's learning and doing. And even though he's tired and sore, I know that he loves that he's getting stronger. Well, of course he says he misses me and he can't wait to see me :) I can't wait either! I'll probably give him the biggest bear hug and never let him go!

Anyways, this is too long... thanks for reading my ramblings.

EDIT: Ugh, I just noticed that I use "and stuff" waaaay too often.